Useful information from behind the control board
End of the World Update: Astronomers from Villanova say that we’re way overdue for a supernova to explode and, thus, wipe out Earth by stripping away our ozone layer. The good news is that the star is more than 3,000 light years away, which means that it may have already blown up and we just haven’t seen it yet.- The Chicago Police Department is seriously considering scrapping the police entrance exam. They are trying to open the process to as many people as possible and boost the number of minorities accepted.
- Today’s pointless study: Women steal more than men… from hotels.
- Gitmo on the Mississippi is one step closer to becoming a reality. The Illinois Commission on Government Forecasting and Accountability voted in favor of letting Gov. Pat Quinn sell the Thomson prison to the feds for use as GitmoMidwest.
- Mayor Daley won’t comment on reports that Rahm Emanuel is already measuring his office for new carpeting.
- Senator Schultz? Democrats in North Dakota are trying to convince MSNBC talking head Ed Schutlz to run for the Senate. Hey, if Al Franken can pick up a few votes suddenly Ed Schultz doesn’t seem to far fetched.
- Moment of racial insensitivity: The other “N” word. Question 9 on the census form asks participants about race, giving people the option to check a box labeled “Black, African Am. or Negro.”
- People are buying up Saabs, Saturns, and Pontiacs like they are going out of style… oh wait. The fact that they are selling for less than half of sticker price in some cases doesn’t hurt. Would you buy a car knowing that the entire brand is going away?
- Tsutomu Yamaguchi has died at the age of 93. Who is Tsutomu Yamaguchi, you may ask? He had the worst luck in the history of the human race. He is the only survivor of both the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombings.
- Tragedy + Time = Musical? Ed Gein: The Musical makes debut.
Post Published: 07 January 2010
Author: Keith
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