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Archive for December, 2009
The Santa Sessions
Merry Christmas!
Morgan Freeman Chain of Command
Courtesy of the folks at Maxim Online.
You’ve gotta love the fact that driving a rich old redneck woman ranks below being an inmate and a freed slave.
Wed. Show Prep – Christmas Wish Edition
ABC has a poll out asking what Americans want for Christmas. The results? Christmas is pretty ordinary: pair of boots, warm coat, supersonic jet and submachine gun. They may want to keep an eye on the person who asked for the submachine gun.- The Grinch who melted the North Pole: Build-A-Bear Workshop is sending out a message from Santa Claus that Christmas may be canceled this year due to Global Warming. My car is covered in about two inches of Global Warming right now.
- Huntsville Congressman Parker Griffith is leaving a lump of coal in Dems’ stocking this Christmas as he joins Republican party. Watching reaction from my Huntsville people has been very entertaining. The Dems call him a traitor, and the Republicans call him an idiot. So he still doesn’t have many friends.
- It turns out that the people at the FAA may be the biggest party animals in the federal government. ABC went undercover and discovered that the FAA threw a three week $5 million Christmas party. Of course it was on the taxpayer dime. So, you’re welcome FAA.
- The newest side effect of the bad economy? Dognappings are on the rise. As a matter of fact, the number of U.S. pet thefts has risen 30 percent in the past year alone.
- Balloon Boys parents have been hit with a $42,000 bill for their publicity stunt.
- Poll Position: 44% of voters say they approve of the President’s job performance. Fifty-six percent now disapprove. That’s a new low in the era of Hopenchange.
- Obama gets his own magic land: The city of Honolulu wants to re-name Magic Island after President Obama.
Tues. Show Prep – Divine Larceny Edition
A priest in Great Britain is encouraging his congregation to fight the bad economy by shoplifting. He says that as long as they only rip-off big chain stores, it’s perfectly alright. Really.- Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse: The only ones opposing the health care bills are “the birthers, the fanatics, the people running around in right-wing militia and Aryan support groups”
- At the same time, Michael Steele says that the democrats are essentially “flipping the bird” to the American people.
- It begins. A Bears fan group wants to buy a billboard to protest the Bears terrible, awful, no good, very bad season. A group called “BearsFansUnited” is calling for Lovie Smith, Ron Turner, Jerry Angelo and Ted Phillips to all be fired.
- Good news, the federal government has finally laid down the law. Airlines are only allowed to keep you locked in an airplane on the tarmac for three hours.
- More good news: The FBI reports that murders were down 10% in the first half of 2009.
- Tweeting in the black: Twitter will turn a profit this year for the first time.
- Tiger Woods Update: Woods has finally run out of Adult Swim re-runs to watch and is taking some friends to the Bahamas on his yacht. That’s a great idea. After all, there would be no opportunities for shenanigans in the Bahamas. Entertaining side note – Tiger Woods yacht is called the “Privacy”
- Cool: First Jesus-era house found in Nazareth. Also un-earthed, a store from the same era called “Cheeses of Nazareth”
- Burger King and Carl’s Jr. are having a battle of the sexy ads. Because when I think burgers, I think sex appeal.
Mon. Show Prep – Waking the Dead Edition
Fark headline of the weekend: Judge rules that City of Chicago can use eminent domain to relocate cemetery for O’Hare expansion. The move is expected to displace almost 1,100 potential voters. - Apparently you can get anything passed in the Senate as long as you throw around some taxpayer money. Ben Nelson doesn’t care so much about that little abortion issue, if the price is right. I wonder how history teachers will talk about that one. Nelson wasn’t alone either.
- In the House, Stupak is working with the GOP to Cisco Cotto the conference bill.
- John McCain says that President Obama has brought “change” alright, he’s made D.C. more partisan.
- The true meaning of Christmas: Kalamazoo Catholic schoolchildren write letters to Baby Jesus instead of Santa.
- San Jose police are testing head-mounted cameras. It is a way to combat some citizens who claim that they use force too much during arrests
- James Cameron wins again. Avatar picked up $73 million in the US and $220 million worldwide. And this with a blizzard going on in the northeast.
- Tiger Woods is spending his time watching cartoons and golfing alone at night. Wasn’t it night putting that got Tiger in trouble in the first place? (Joke stolen from Dan Deibert)
- I’m the first one to admit that I’m not much of a cat person, but this is too much even for me. Some sick freak glued a cats paws to an interstate in Minnesota.
- That 14 year old Dutch girl who wants to sail around the world by herself has completely vanished. No, she didn’t go all Amelia Earheart on us, she disappeared from her home. That’s really not a good sign for her navigation abilities.
The Mythbusters vs. The Gorn
You know I’ll be watching…
About Me
Keith Conrad
Radio producer, internet enthusiast, all around nice guy. Keith can talk your ear off on everything from NASA's latest plans to what the Cubs need to do to win the World Series.