- The initial figures show Black Friday spending up 0.5%. Not 5%, zero-point-five. Not too good. Maybe Cyber Monday will show that people may not be as bad off as we fear, but they are definitely more lazy than we can imagine.
- Tiger Woods was minding his own business driving when a fire hydrant darted out in front of his car. He and his wife may or may not have been arguing about his mistress. The 911 audio is online.
- Almost as good as the Tiger Woods story is the party crashers at President Obama’s state dinner. Don’t you like to think it would actually be more difficult than that to get near the President? Benjamin Franklin Gates was unavailable for comment.
- Speaking of Black Friday: A couple in my old stomping grounds left their kids in a shopping cart — a 9 year old and a 9 MONTH old — while they ran off to snag some bargains. I hope Wal-Mart was out of whatever they were looking for… because of course it was at Wal-Mart.
- Obviously the economy sucks, and so more and more people are on food stamps these days. But apparently food stamps have lost their stigma and are actually becoming popular.
- Also loosing its stigma is not being able to pay your mortgage… The Obama administration is going to step up pressure on mortgage companies to allow people to stay in their homes.
- OMGWTFBBQ: Teachers are giving up on banning cell phones and instead incorporating them into class. They are texting class instructions and homework assignments. I’m going to say this at a far younger age than I ever would have expected… “those darned kids don’t know how good they’ve got it.”
- Teachers may want to rethink that idea when they see this story… A girl committed suicide after she “sexted” a nude picture of herself to a boy she liked, and it got forwarded all over the school. She was 13 years old.
- The U.N. demanded that Iran stop its uranium enrichment program. Iran’s response: 10 new uranium enrichment plants.
- Meanwhile, Cuba is conducting wargames to prepare for the coming US invasion. Really. Cuba is officially the only country in the world that is worried that United States might invade them.
- The IRS has filed $79,000 tax lien against Schwarzenegger. I guess he figured that politicians were getting the Geithner treatment and didn’t have to pay taxes anymore.
- Here comes President Romney… Mike Huckabee said on Fox News Sunday that it’s “less than likely” that he’ll run for President in 2012. He also said it would be foolhardy to think that Obama will be easy to beat, since Bill Clinton looked done after 1994 but managed to win re-election easily in 1996. That’s very true. But it’s also very true that Bill Clinton didn’t start his first term demanding that a bill be passed that he said would keep unemployment under 8.5% only to see it shoot all the way up to 10.2%. Just sayin’
- Coming soon to Comcast: A Saddam Hussein channel has mysteriously popped up on TV in Iraq.
Mon. Show Prep – Cyber Monday Edition
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Food Stamps are nice and handy if you want some fast meals.”‘`