Useful information from behind the control board
- General Motors says starting Monday, buyers of new GM cars can bring them back within 60 days, no questions asked. In other news, starting Monday I’m going to have a brand new GM car every two months…
- I could sum up President Obama’s speech to Congress in two words: “Bore” “Ring.” Apparently America agreed with me as usual. So You Think You Can Dance on Fox beat out the ObamaCare telethon.
- President Obama accepted Congressman Wilson’s apology for his “You lie!” moment. However, Wilson’s opponent is raising “buku” bucks after the outburst. Maybe we should start some sort of charitable drive to get Wilson re-elected.
- ACORN is in big big trouble: Officials from President Obama’s favorite group could face charges after apparently advising couple posing as pimp, prostitute how to lie to IRS.
- The White House Council of Economic Advisers says the $787 billion stimulus plan kept one million people working who would otherwise have lost their jobs. While we’re making up numbers, why say one million, why not just say a bazillion?
- Speaking of numbers that are almost impossible to prove, the Census claims more than 46-million Americans uninsured. Do you buy it?
- Remember when President Obama was going to make sure Chicago got the 2016 Olympics by traveling to Copenhagen himself? Well Now he’s thinking he may sit this one out. He has more industries to nationalize after all. Oh well, Chicago’s got it in the bag anyway.
- Remember Caster Semenya ? She was the runner who was just a little too fast, so they decided to give her a gender test. The results are in and it turns out she’s… well, a little bit of everything.
- American Standard is holding a contest for the best toilet-related stories. What a crappy idea.
- Was Alcohol A Facotor?: A man decided to get even with his cat for pooping in his bed by firing a handgun to scare it. The answer is yes, alcohol was a factor.
Post Published: 11 September 2009
Author: Keith
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Show Prep
