A Wisconsin gas station accidentally charged only $.37 per gallon

Revenge of the Birthers: It turns out that a bio for Barack Obama published in 1991 states that he was “born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and Hawaii.” It was in a brochure for his literary agent, who says it was a fact-checking error. Which makes the most sense, when you think about it… or do you think it was more likely that there was a grand conspiracy that went so far as to plant a fake birth announcement in the newspaper on the off chance he might run for President one day, only to accidentally spill the beans in a brochure?

Good news: Security experts claim that if you’re carrying a laptop or a smartphone in Chicago this week, you might come under a cyber attack because people may think you’re part of the NATO summit.

An assistant principal in Connecticut has been suspended for throwing a cheeseburger at a student. A girl threw her burger at the assistant principal. She threw it back. Now she’s suspended. First instinct might be to applaud her for fighting back against a teenage terrorist, but an assistant principal can’t be throwing things at students.

A second-grader in Colorado Springs was pulled out of class for dressing up like Martin Luther King… including black face. His parents went to school with him for the presentation, so they obviously didn’t see a problem with it, but a faculty member objected. Should the parents have known better or was the teacher just overly sensitive?

A kid in San Antonio will be suspended unless he gets rid of the portrait of the Spurs’ Matt Bonner shaved into his haircut. The school says it was a distraction. He and his mom say they got permission from the school.

Nine year-old Josef Miles from Topeka, Kansas may be America’s newest hero. He and his mom spotted the Westboro Baptist nutjobs protesting, so he grabbed a piece of paper and made his own sign reading “God hate no one”

A 350 pound Wisconsin man is picketing a local seafood establishment after they failed to give him “all he could eat.”  He says that they are guilty of Man’s greatest sin: false advertising. The restaurant says that he had eaten at least 20 pieces of fish and was sharing the food with his friend, which is not allowed under the all you can eat deal.

A Washington Post poll says that 28% say a recent report alleging Mitt Romney had bullied a high school classmate left them with a negative view of the Republican hopeful. Americans generally dislike bullies, but the details of the incident are in question, and more importantly it’s was nearly 50 years ago.

A new poll from NPR says that 60% of Americans would support tax credits for organ donors. States are tying to grow their organ donor databases, but the shortage of organs keeps getting worse. Would tax credits be a good way to solve that or does paying people for their organs give you the heebie-jeebies?

Another one bites the dust: The Field Museum will be closed Monday because of the NATO summit, despite announcing earlier that it would remain open. Not surprising, since you wouldn’t have been able to get there anyway.

Someone in Mississippi is posing as a cop, pulling drivers over, and murdering them. And the real cips are advising people NOT to pull over when they see police lights flashing in their rear view mirrors.

We may have found the one person in the world more touchy about their Mother’s Day gift than Amy Jacobson: Paige Parkerson, a Texas woman stabbed her boyfriend/baby dady to death because of his cheap Mother’s Day gift. The victim’s mother says that she took him to Wal-Mart to get a card and flowers, but Paige wanted jewelry.

Awkward Media Moment: Howard Dean got into a car accident live on the air with a radio station in Canada.

The White House has decided to amend the official bios of former Presidents to include references to President Obama

Obama on with those harpies on The View. He spent much of the interview talking gay marriage, but he also managed to get in a Kardashian reference, and also predicted that the 2012 election will because because “it’s always tight when your name is Barack Obama.” Nice slap at the voters you’re trying to win over.

One elementary school near Atlanta told kids that they can’t use text-speak or draw pictures when writing in each other’s yearbooks. The kids say it’s an assault on their freedom of speech. Parents took to Facebook to express their outrage, and eventually the school caved. Grammar Nazis or brave crusaders against the dumbing down of the English language?

Most awesome thing you’ll see today: Inside the Actors Studio host James Lipton has advice for Mitt Romney on how to act human.

Second most awesome thing you’ll see today: A Florida woman claims to have the image of Jesus Christ during a recent episode of The Batchelor. She was trying to take a picture of a tent on the show when she spotted the divine image.

George W. Bush has resurfaced, and endorsed Mitt Romney. He was speaking at an event in Washington, DC and said that to reporters while he was getting on an elevator. So it was about as enthusiastic as most Romney endorsements.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn has filed a $1 million countersuit against the Manhattan maid who accused him of sexual assault a year ago. DSK said Nafissatou Diallo had made “a malicious and wanton false accusation” that resulted in a lost French presidential bid and ruined “other professional opportunities.”

Not news: Five employees are accusing a Tennessee property assessor of sexual harassment. News: They said he would chest-bump women around the office to reward good work. Big John and Amy: His name is Bill Boner.

Human baseball glove Patricia Krentcil said that she would be more than happy to pose in Playboy. They just said thanks, but no thanks. Is this the first time that a newsmamker has offered their services and Playboy said no?

Eight people were arrested for “storming” the Obama campaign headquarters. They were protesting the war in Afghanistan.

What’s lower than threatening nuns? Threatening nuns because they are standing in the way of a strip club. The sisters of Saint Charles Borromeo convent say they’ve gotten threats for blocking the strip club in Stone Park.

Error in Judgement: A man in Florida decided that it was a good idea to sell Trayvon Martin-themed gun range targets. They show a hooded figure. He admits that he was just trying to make a few bucks off of all of the publicity surrounding the George Zimmerman trial.

Ron Paul announced that he is scaling back all operations in states that have yet to hold Republican primaries. The Paul campaign is betting on the state convention process—with supporters actively campaigning—with the idea that he’ll wield enough power to influence the RNC.

Jersey Shore star Vinny Guadagnino will be attending Cornell University in the fall of 2012 to pursue a master’s degree in Arts. I’m not sure that I want to live on a planet where a cast member from Jersey Shore has a masters from Cornell

Time Magazine is out with a new issue featuring a cover shot of an attractive young mother breast feeding her three-year-old child

Mesa Preparatory Academy in Arizona’s baseball team has a force in their lineup so intimidating that a team decided to forfeit the game as soon as they saw the lineup. Our Lady of Sorrows decided to forfeit their game because Mesa has a girl playing second base. The school said that they had no choice but to forfeit because it has a strict policy prohibiting participation in co-ed athletics and believes in “forming and educating boys and girls” separately. The league on the other hand supports allowing women to play in all sports. She had sat out their previous games against Our Lady of Sorrows, but won’t this time with the championship on the line. Should the Catholic school “man” up and take the field?

The Washington Post did some digging into Mitt Romney’s past and found out that when he was at his stuffy private high school he was quite the prankster. Among the pranks was pinning down a fellow student who was presumed to be gay and chopping his hair off. So if you were voting on what Mitt Romney did 40 or so years ago, now you know. Romney told Fox News Radio that he doesn’t remember  the prank, but apologized anyway. Also, just in case you were wondering, in one of his memoirs Barack Obama admits to pushing a girl on the playground. Plus, he also pantsed America’s credit rating.

Robin Roberts says that she is starting to get chills interviewing President Obama again. It’s nice to see the objective, tenacious, bulldog reporter mentality is still alive and well.

A Florida teacher decided that it was a good idea to take a page from the move Up and make unruly students wear “cone of shame” pet collars. She’s done it to at least eight students in the past month. Some parents are calling for her to be fired. Over the top or just good old fashioned effective discipline?

Scare in the Air: Couple pulled off of Jet Blue flight at FLL this week because their 18-month old daughter was apparently on the TSA’s “No Fly” List.

A 70 year old woman says that she’s finally ready to lose her virginity. She’s a cabaret singer but she does not believe in sex before marriage. And as she has stayed single there was no question of losing her virginity. Now she says she’s ready to meet a “tall, dark and handsome millionaire.” I’m sure they’ll be lining up.

Most Awesome Story of the Day: Houston Baseball fans tossed from park after dressing like Castro to heckle Ozzie Guillen.

End of the World Update: Archeologists have unearthed what they say is the oldest known version of the Mayan calendar and it doesn’t “end” with the Earth’s destruction later this year.

President Obama told ABC News on Wednesday that he supports gay marriage. So, Obama was pro-gay marriage in 1996. Anti-gay marriage in 2004. Pro-gay marriage in 2012. When Obama evolves, he evolves!

Shepard Smith had an interesting reaction to Obama’s gay marriage flip-flop. He said “The president of the United States, now in the 21st century.” Continuing his streak of non-Roger Ailes friendly on-air statements.

The Adler Planetarium, Field Museum and Art Institute have decided that they will close during the NATO summit after all. Makes sense, there won’t be much of a way to get there anyway. Is there anything you’ll actually be able to do during the NATO summit?

Scare in the Air: A man tried to sneak pieces of a gun onto an airplane hidden in his four year old son’s stuffed animals. Officials decided the man was not a threat and let him continue on his flight. He blamed a domestic dispute for the incident. Sounds like there’s an interesting story there.

Second Amendment Spotlight: An 84 year old man in Pennsylvania shot a would-be home intruder with his gun… from the Korean War.

Remember the dentist who yanked all of her ex-boyfriend’s teeth out after he dumped her for another woman? It turns out it was all a hoax.

Senator Mark Kirk has released a video message for the first time since his stroke in January. He seems to be progressing very well. They show a few clips of his rehab, and it looks like the stroke really effected his ability to walk, but he doesn’t seem to have any trouble talking. Here’s hoping he continues to improve.

A high school principal in St. Louis thought it was a good idea to pose as a high school student on Facebook and tried to “friend” students and parents. Most likely to spy on them. She has since resigned over what the school district is calling a “fundamental dispute concerning the appropriate use of social media.” That’s a diplomatic way of putting it. Creepy or just an educator going above and beyond the call of duty to get to the bottom of the psyche of her students?

Everyone seems to be freaking out over a picture of Hilldawg without any makeup. It was plastered all over Drudge on Monday in typical Drudge “Aren’t liberals crazy? Look at this crazy-ass picture!” fashion. For her part, Clinton told CNN that she’s happy to be at a point in her life where she can skip makeup and wear glasses. Considering the fact that she’s been on TV constantly for 20 years now, I would say she’s aging pretty gracefully.

Finally: The infamous tan mom has become an action figure. It’s called the “Tanorexic Doll” from Hero Builders and it can be yours for the low-low price of $30. Who is paying $30 for an action figure of a woman who will die of skin cancer and be forgotten in mere weeks?

An Indiana mom decided that it was a good idea to send her 17-year old to school with a stun gun. He’s openly gay and says that he was taunted and bullied. She’s defending her actions, saying she was just helping her son defend himself. Now he’s facing expulsion. To me there’s just no way you can justify giving a stun gun to a high schooler. At best it’s disruptive, at worst someone could get seriously hurt and there could be lawsuits galore.

In an effort to better control the nutritional intake of their constituent’s children, Massachusetts lawmakers have approved a ban on school bake sales. Who is next? If I were the Girl Scouts, I’d be looking over my shoulder.

The Colombian prostitute at the center of the Secret Service scandal spoke to the Today Show on Monday (Finally).  She said the agents were “stupid brutes” which “put extreme partying ahead of the President’s security.” Which explains why she was so anxious to speak up, even before they disagreed over payment.

Mitt Romney’s a troublemaker. A loner Dottie, a rebel. No really. It turns out that Romney was arrested for disorderly conduct in 1981. He was about to take his family out on the lake when a police officer pointed out that the license on the boat was painted over, Romney decided to go in anyway and face a fine, and instead the officer arrested him on the spot.

I may be in the market for a house at the end of the summer, so this one was of particular interest to me. According to a new estimate the White House would be valued at about $110 million. It’s a 21,000-square-foot house, with an underground garage for 40 cars, 132 rooms, a tennis court, a bowling alley, a movie theater, a basketball court, a swimming pool and a jogging track. Unfortunately, it’s not for sale. Although there may be a new renter in January.

Nikki Sixx the bassist of Mötley Crüe says that he’s “over” President Obama, and it’s time for a change. He who has lost Mötley Crüe has lost middle America.

You may have been wondering how the dinosaurs went extinct, since as far as we know they didn’t have any SUV’s to drive around and destroy the planet. New research indicates that dinosaur flatulence may have released enough methane into the air to cause global warming in the Mesozoic era.

A first grader in Colorado was suspended for three days after he quoted a line from a song (“I’m Sexy And I know It” by LMFAO, which is allegedly popular). The school says that it was sexual harassment. School board policy defines sexual harassment as any unwelcome sexual advance. The kids mom questions whether he knows anything about sexual harassment.

The Heartland Institute decided that it was a good idea to put up a billboard in the Eisenhower showing a picture of Unabomber Ted Kaczynski with the caption “I still believe in Global Warming, Do you?” The predictable ensuing outrage led the conservative think tank to take it down, scrapping their plan for future billboards with Fidel Castro and Charles Manson. Is that really any sort of way to win people over?

WGN anchor Mark Suppelsa shocked friends and co-workers by announcing that he is going into rehab for alcohol abuse. He’ll be out for about a month.

The “Tanning Mom” showed up on Weekend Update on SNL. She explained how every woman can look as beautiful as her.

My former stomping grounds of Huntsville, AL is a sophisticated mid-sized town filled with brilliant rocket scientists, so it’s no surprise when they have to deal with some of the problems of big cities… like a slow speed chase for example. It is however surprising when six police officers and two animal control officers have to chase a cow for nearly four hours.

A program at a minimum security prison uses cats as therapy to help inmates get used to caring for someone other than themselves. Sounds like a good, and relatively inexpensive way to change the mindset of criminals. Plus as a dog person, I’m fine with sending cats to prison.

This actually happened: A Boston woman told police that she was hypnotized against her will and gave away all her of valuables, including jewelry and $160,000 in cash.